Wonders of the American West

Travel Day – 28 May 2011

Well, I broke a cardinal rule of flying with this trip. I booked a flight at an ungodly hour when a better one was readily available. Funny how you don’t factor in the time you need to get up, get to the airport and be an hour early when you book the flight. My travel agent said there was a 5:15 flight and a 7:20 one but that the later one was $300 more expensive. So, without a thought, I said I’d take the cheaper flight.

Yeah. Sometimes, two hours sleep is well worth $300.

I’ve ended tours like this. Starting one already tired is something I plan to avoid in the future. Granted, I had free passes to the Maple Leaf Lounge at Pearson International, and it was so quiet there, people were asleep!

So, my 5:15 flight with Air Canada was on time and it was a smooth 3 hours from St. John’s to Toronto. US customs is located in Pearson so that Canadian airlines can connect to smaller US airports where there are no customs facilities. Good idea really. Makes arrival in the US so much less of a hassle, and as long as you have a minimum of 2 hours, you can get through customs in Pearson. (And they rushed people to the front if their flights were close).

It helped kill one of the seven hours I had to wait for my next flight.

Yeah. That 7:20 flight was looking even better by then.

I picked up my bag at the carousel inside the customs area and moved on to the passport control where I was asked one question – how long did I plan to stay.

That’s it.

Must be the grey coming out in my hair. I looked so innocent.

I didn’t get selected for secondary inspection, so I walked on through, dropped off my luggage and went straight to the Maple Leaf Lounge.

And I found a quiet niche in the back to try to nap for awhile. Don’t think I slept, but I kept my eyes closed for two hours. I got up after a woman decided to yak on her cell phone in the quiet area. You wanna see some peeved off people. She looks at them innocently, completely oblivious to the twenty signs on the wall and on every single table saying No Cell Phone. Guess she thought it was just a suggestion.

So, I got myself a really nice cup of Earl Grey and a couple of delicious little poppyseed muffins while I checked my flight status. My flight was delayed about forty-five minutes, so that meant I would arrive before five in Denver. That would give me a little more than an hour to make the Welcome Drink scheduled for six. So I surfed on Pearson’s free wi-fi, did lunch and found my gate.

Then I found out that Patrick Chen, the Olympic figure skater, was on the flight too. Everyone was going up to him to get their picture taken then an Air Canada employee rescued him and let him board early.

Then the fun began.

Lets call it “The Six hour flight to Denver with Patrick Chen and his mom.”

(The flight to Denver is 3:40 hours…normally)

Turned out that the delay was because the original plane had mechanical problems so they had to find another plane and crew. Not bad work for a forty-five minute difference. Took a couple minutes longer to board because it was a different type of plane with different seating.

I was in lucky 13D and it didn’t change. However, my luck of never having a flight delayed, did.

Because the forty-five minutes was only the beginning.

First the airport’s tractor that pushes the plane back from the gate broke down, so they called a tow truck. The truck couldn’t get the tractor boosted, so it towed it away and went looking for another tractor.

Twenty minutes on, we got pushed back from the gate and started the long taxi to the runway.

No problem. Right?

Nope. Remember. I’m in lucky 13D.

Well, I noticed the flight attendants were going back a forth as we were taxiing, which isn’t unusual, but there seemed to be a little more urgency in their steps. Then one of them dove into a pocket in first class and hauled out a whack of air sickness bags and rushed back to around seat 25.

That’s when heads started to turn.

Some passengers are ushered up to first class and more vomit bags go back. I didn’t hear any heaving or upchucking and wondered if he was just hyperventilating. A woman in the aisle across from me said she heard something about an infectious disease.

Then one of the flight attendants went to the pilot’s phone, and right there and then, I knew I was going to miss the Welcome Drink. (I had also broken my cardinal rule of always booking a pre-day, so I only had about an hour between arrival and the Welcome Drink).

Sure enough, the pilot came on to say that we had to return to the terminal to remove someone who wasn’t feeling well.

Blowing chunks over two rows of seats? Yeah. I’d say he wasn’t well.

So we taxied allllll the way back to the terminal and had to wait for a gate. The pilot said the emergency techs were waiting for the Mr. Not-so-Well and that they’d have to remove his luggage as well. That took longer than removing the Mr. Not-so-Well.

So the door opened and on comes the police.

Emergency techs? Well. Worked for me.

They removed a twenty-something guy. Then the attendants started the running back and forth again. An older woman was also not feeling well and she got off with another woman. Luckily, they got her luggage off while they were looking for Mr. Not-so-Well’s luggage.

Meanwhile, a cleaning crew comes on and everyone was allowed to use cell phones and go to the bathroom. So I go for a walk to eavesdrop on the flight attendants. Turns out he was super anxious and over-medicated himself with anti-anxiety meds.

And likely a few beer too.

One attendant said she has a real problem with vomit then went on to say that “dead people, not a problem. I can do dead people. I can’t do vomit.”

I look at her, wide-eyed, and without thinking I said, “you did dead people?”

Oops.

So, off I to to report back to my row and Patrick Chen’s mother. They were relieved that we wouldn’t be further delayed by an infectious disease, quarantine and death.

The cleaning crew replaced the cushions and removed a garbage bag full of vomit bags and the attendants got ready to close the door.

Then another woman got up and left the plane.

So, the luggage routine started again.

Finally, the cargo doors shut below us and the flight attendant went to close the door. She hesitated and said, “anyone else?”

Heh.

There were no takers. At this point, if someone had stood up, he or she would have been tackled and strapped to their seat by the rest of us.

We finally got airborne at three o’clock Denver time. Halfway through the flight the girl sitting next to me leaned forward as if adopting crash position or tying her shoe laces. Not sure which, but she stayed there and didn’t move.

So, was she sleeping or dead?

After a while, I actually watched to see if she’s breathing and wondered if the flight attendant was going to get her chance to do another dead body.

Ten then fifteen minutes on, she still hadn’t moved and I actually considered poking her.

Then she sat up.

And I flinched.

It was actually quite the bumpy ride to Denver (if the taxi did in Mr Not-so-Well, the flight would have given him a stroke). We arrived just before seven and the attendants let the people getting connections get off the plane first – including Chen and his mother who had to make a run for the flight to Colorado Springs. She didn’t think they’d make it.

I picked up my luggage and easily found the Supershuttle desk and just caught the next shuttle. I got to the hotel in about thirty minutes and was met by a very pleasant front desk clerk. He had everything ready for me and told me that the meeting was over but that I could still go down and get my drink if I wanted to.

After the day I had, it was a consideration.

And I don’t drink.

Instead, I found my room and took a long shower. I spoke on the phone with the tour director, Gordon, and made sure we were on the same page. The note Gordon had left me warned us to dress warmly as it was only going to be eight degrees in Denver and Vail but that it would improve in Moab where it should be in the twenties.

Layers.

The hotel room had two double beds (so far, no “single” room for me on any tour). The room also had a kettle, iron, board, shower stuff and lots of towels. Internet is $12.95 in the room and free in the lobby. (As of now, 2017, it’s free if you become a Marriott Rewards Member).After reorganizing my luggage into “bus mode” I crashed faster than Mr. Not-so-Well.